If a tree falls in the forest

If a tree falls in the forest

and there's no one around to hear it,

does it truly make a sound?

If a lie is told without care

and there's no one to admonish it,

has a wrong ever been done?

If blood is spilled in the darkness

and there's no scar to mark it,

has there ever been wounding?

If one faces death on the bathroom floor

and there's no one to bear witness,

has an attempt ever been made?

If I scream with all my strength

and there's not a whisper in response,

have I ever been a person to you

in the first place?

Understanding the nature of chronic conditions

It is already there when I wake

Gently gnawing at my knees and elbows

"How restful your sleep," it says. "How calm."

"I want to have it for myself."

In that moment

I understand the image of a dragon

Chewing on the roots of the Yggdrasil

And devouring its lifeforce

It finds a place to nestle in me for the day

I move slowly. I don't want to shake it awake.

It comes awake anyway when the sky is grey

Or if I dared to pretend it wasn't there for too long

In that moment

I understand the image of a status effect

In a videogame; ticking away one's HP

A single point at a time

It settles in my fingers when I stitch

Or in my mind as I work the keyboard

"Such beautiful things you make," it croons.

"I want them all to myself."

In that moment

I understand the image of a dead man walking

Waiting for doom he knows to be inevitable

And powerless to intervene

The doctors smile at me as they ask me to leave

People turn away disappointed by my silence

I open my mouth to beg for mercy

And spit out my bitten-off tongue

In that moment

I understand the image of a stone

Being slowly carved out

By dripping water

Reflections on the edge of the knife

If I ever did allow myself to choose that path

I think it would be red, and oh, so very vivid

I would be so tragically happy, I imagine

For so very tragically short a time

If I ever did allow myself to choose that path

I think I'd burn as brightly as any of them

And burn myself out just as fast, I fear

It'd be a glorious way to ruin

If I ever did allow myself to choose that path

I think I shouldn't miss this life half-awakened

But so long as I live it, I'm sure to be content

To never truly know for certain